::takes a look at the Melkor!surveillance footage::

My, my... The love potion I slipped in her breakfast seems to be doing it's job...

He, on the other hand, appears to be too vain and in love with his own reflection for it to work. Hmm.

In the beginning there was numberoneenemy and lo, all was kinky and lewd and evil and suchlike.
And Eru looked up from his Trek watching and saw that it was satisfactory damn good.
Then into the darkness went this first Melkor and thus he buggered off for a long time.
But then there was a blinding flash and lo, there appeared _forsaken_one_, a second Melkor, and verily, Eru looked up from his Dragnet marathon and saw that it was still satisfactory okay, if a bit damp.
Much havoc and sabotaging of Tilion's brakes ensued, with a little kidnapping on the side. Not forgetting zapping baby Elfwine into not-baby Elfwine. And thusly the first month ended with the introduction of the Luthy blow-up doll.
This new Melkor, in the time that followed proceeded to apply to play the puppet of Beren and procured a maia by the name of Faramir, all the while bringing down plague and hellfiresleepiness on a fearful Middle Earth.
With the advent of Long & Arda, came the taming of the swan prince and Melkor's rediscovery of his evil mojo in the deepest jungle. This newfound evilness led to one of the most fiendish and terrible creations in all existence, no not Ulmo's coral hat, the "dance dance dance" pop-sensation known as M Club 7.
Time passed and all was good and Melkor kidnapped Luthien again, as you know.. it was for a baby-shower overdue.
And lo, there returneth the first Melkor and he looked and saw that verily Melkor II was indeed keeping up the goodbad work and he smiled evilly. Thusly, Melkor II decided to steal Tilion's skin and much prancing and shagging occurred in said skin and it was not returned without many sticky patches and unusual stains.
More time passed and all was still good and Melkor applied for a soulbond with Eomer and in this undertaking noticed that ample charms of his wife, Lothiriel, who soon bore the spawn of evil.
And after many releases from Long & Arda, it was decided that things needed stirring up and thusly, the WraithSexScandal was brought into the light of a particularly bright and sunny day in Arda.

And lo, Melkor II looked about and said, "Rawr. I feel damn sexy" and thusly the mun decided that everyone can remember the last 3 months and stopped reminicing

So. You may think I've been flat out on my back for two weeks.


Sunbathing, of course *snigger* in a little place called Italy.

But really, I've been busy with the latest Long and Arda release.

...the interactive DVD release of the Boobs of Evil series


( limited edition box set available for a short time only )

Hmmm... Is it just me or did the kid get his hair cut or something...?

So. ehehe. I thought I should reveal another side of the kid's half-brother.


You should see what's been cut off, down there well, saying who was down there could pose some awkward legal difficulties for L&A but let me tell you....

( you probably all know anyway )

You know, a while ago there was a Long and Arda naked special with a certain... Denethor?

heh he did a Western style... "documentary"...

well. he wasn't alone. ;)

( presenting a rare cowboyed up appearence of Faramir... )

::sniggers::

[Poll #126974]

Rawr. Let's see...what have I been up to?

...all I can remember is much Lothiness.


Rawr.

Though, you know, kiddies... I don't think I'm getting enough worship. First one to start the Cult of Melkor gets free videos.

So like, I've been thinking.

I've been thinking long and hard. Not like that, the other kind of long and hard.

I've decided that there should be enforced celibacy for all of Middle Earth, myself and my siblings included.

So starting from now... you are all incapable of interfacing.

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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH GOTCHA. April fool. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH