forsaken_one: (hmm)
::takes a look at the Melkor!surveillance footage::

My, my... The love potion I slipped in her breakfast seems to be doing it's job...

He, on the other hand, appears to be too vain and in love with his own reflection for it to work. Hmm.

eheh

Jul. 24th, 2003 11:49 am
forsaken_one: (aahahaha)
It has occurred to me that I haven't done anything truely... naughty in some time. You know, I'm not like darling Ungoliant who likes to spring nice big evility on people. I prefer... small little helpings of havoc and chaos here and there..

butterflies flapping in Valinor and all that.

::sniggers::

well. I was talking to my old friends Puck and Oberon and this has nothing to do with the mun watching Midsummer Night's Dream on tv a few weeks ago and then dreaming about Rupert Everett and shopping the other night *snerk* and they were telling me about this magical love juice they had some fun with.

Of course, being Melkor, owner of Long & Arda and supposed fertility god or something, I have no need for any magic potions. ::sniggers::

But I have an inkling of who might.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ::slips a little something into two special second breakfasts::
forsaken_one: (devious)
In the beginning there was [livejournal.com profile] numberoneenemy and lo, all was kinky and lewd and evil and suchlike.
And Eru looked up from his Trek watching and saw that it was satisfactory damn good.
Then into the darkness went this first Melkor and thus he buggered off for a long time.
But then there was a blinding flash and lo, there appeared [livejournal.com profile] _forsaken_one_, a second Melkor, and verily, Eru looked up from his Dragnet marathon and saw that it was still satisfactory okay, if a bit damp.
Much havoc and sabotaging of Tilion's brakes ensued, with a little kidnapping on the side. Not forgetting zapping baby Elfwine into not-baby Elfwine. And thusly the first month ended with the introduction of the Luthy blow-up doll.
This new Melkor, in the time that followed proceeded to apply to play the puppet of Beren and procured a maia by the name of Faramir, all the while bringing down plague and hellfiresleepiness on a fearful Middle Earth.
With the advent of Long & Arda, came the taming of the swan prince and Melkor's rediscovery of his evil mojo in the deepest jungle. This newfound evilness led to one of the most fiendish and terrible creations in all existence, no not Ulmo's coral hat, the "dance dance dance" pop-sensation known as M Club 7.
Time passed and all was good and Melkor kidnapped Luthien again, as you know.. it was for a baby-shower overdue.
And lo, there returneth the first Melkor and he looked and saw that verily Melkor II was indeed keeping up the goodbad work and he smiled evilly. Thusly, Melkor II decided to steal Tilion's skin and much prancing and shagging occurred in said skin and it was not returned without many sticky patches and unusual stains.
More time passed and all was still good and Melkor applied for a soulbond with Eomer and in this undertaking noticed that ample charms of his wife, Lothiriel, who soon bore the spawn of evil.
And after many releases from Long & Arda, it was decided that things needed stirring up and thusly, the WraithSexScandal was brought into the light of a particularly bright and sunny day in Arda.

And lo, Melkor II looked about and said, "Rawr. I feel damn sexy" and thusly the mun decided that everyone can remember the last 3 months and stopped reminicing
forsaken_one: (water)
SO.

In a bizarre yet fortunate fit of unrelated coincidences, the mun discovered that it is my 1st anniversary TOMORROW.

Now, I know what you're all thinking,

"Surely, Melkie II has been here longer than that?!?!"

It just goes to show how much you all love my hot sexy body. Time has lost all meaning for you.

Therefore, in honour of my birthday, not only is tomorrow

NAKED DAY

::steals all the clothes in middle earth:: it's never too early to start though ehehehe

but Long & Arda have a small series of anniversary releases to commemorate the event.

::liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick:: )
forsaken_one: (Default)
So. You may think I've been flat out on my back for two weeks.


Sunbathing, of course *snigger* in a little place called Italy.

But really, I've been busy with the latest Long and Arda release.
forsaken_one: (smirktastic)
Yo. Dad!

Happy Father's day!

And just for you a non-pornoriffic video of Damien's first smiting!
forsaken_one: (aahahaha)
...the interactive DVD release of the Boobs of Evil series


limited edition box set available for a short time only )
forsaken_one: (aahahaha)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
forsaken_one: (pale and moodyahaha)
Hmmm... Is it just me or did the kid get his hair cut or something...?
forsaken_one: (water)
So. ehehe. I thought I should reveal another side of the kid's half-brother.


You should see what's been cut off, down there well, saying who was down there could pose some awkward legal difficulties for L&A but let me tell you....

you probably all know anyway )
forsaken_one: (smirktastic)
Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
CategoryYour Score Average
Self-Lovin'3.3%
I wouldn't shake hands, if I were you
60.4%
Shamelessness19%
For Eru's sake, put your clothes on!
76%
Sex Drive 10.5%
Humps fire hydrants when nobody's looking
74%
Straightness0%
Knows the other body type like a map
38.9%
Gayness 0%
Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame
78.2%
Fucking Sick15%
The pets are nervous
87.3%
You are 11.25% pure
Average Score: 68.5%
forsaken_one: (smirktastic)
You know, a while ago there was a Long and Arda naked special with a certain... Denethor?

heh he did a Western style... "documentary"...

well. he wasn't alone. ;)

presenting a rare cowboyed up appearence of Faramir... )

::sniggers::
forsaken_one: (MUD!!!)
Middle Earth is Jelloy.


::whips out extra cameras::

Okay people, it's time for a JELLO ORGY!
forsaken_one: (laughfest)
You know, back in the day, after that little fiasco of Saurie's with a ring of power or something... he sent his wraiths over to me for some kind of... punishment.

You see, before Witchy-boy was my kid's personal wraith-thing, he was the poster-boy for a series Long & Arda did.

WraithSex )

AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
forsaken_one: (smirktastic)
Rawr. Let's see...what have I been up to?

...all I can remember is much Lothiness.


Rawr.

Though, you know, kiddies... I don't think I'm getting enough worship. First one to start the Cult of Melkor gets free videos.
forsaken_one: (laughfest)
So, while I was enjoying my little dark princess, the mun got bored so. Ta-da!

check it out )
forsaken_one: (brooding)
So like, I've been thinking.

I've been thinking long and hard. Not like that, the other kind of long and hard.

I've decided that there should be enforced celibacy for all of Middle Earth, myself and my siblings included.

So starting from now... you are all incapable of interfacing.

...





...





...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH GOTCHA. April fool. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
forsaken_one: (laughfest)
It's sunny outside the mun's window, so while she is cowering inside relishing the dark I am declaring it naked day for everyone. AHAHAHAHAHAHA

::steals middle earth's clothes::
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